Moving Forward

Author’s Note: I made one piece to complete two of my goals which was text analysis and to use text evidence in my writing.  I wrote my piece about the novel Hate List by Jennifer Brown. About a girl stuck in the middle just trying to move forward from a troubling past.

“The list was my idea.  I didn’t want anyone to die.  I didn't mean to be a hero.  Will you ever forgive me?”(Back Cover)  May 2, 2008 seemed like any other ordinary day for Valerie Leftman, let alone any other student who attended Garvin High School.  There were announcements, meeting with friend’s in-between classes, and after school activities; anything a typical student would do.  All until the first shot was fired, but more came after.  Unfortunately May second,  was not your regular type of day.  Author of Hate List Jennifer Brown wrote this novel about a girl in the background—the shooter’s girlfriend, who is just trying to forget the past, but keeps being reminded of the tragic event and a love that could still be.

All summer long Valerie sulked around the house. The devastating shooting turned on her and that’s when her life started to change. She was losing her friends, faith, and hope. Would you try to turn your life back around? Valerie tried to move on, but as school approached again in the fall it could not get any worse for Valerie. “I can’t sit here with her without thinking out the thing, trying to pretend that nothing has ever happened!”(69) When you picture this moment in your mind, you see that she has lost everything. People hardly want to be in the same room as her. Moving on may be the hardest although still the only thing that Valerie can do to improve her life.

While reading the book you realize the depression and pain that Valerie is going through.  All she wanted was for her life to go back to normal, but being “the girl that hates everyone.”(40) was that even an option?  “You may not have pulled the trigger, but you helped cause the tragedy.” (70)  “You saved me! Accident or on purpose, you saved me. Thank you.”(216)  Was she the hero or villain?  As sides were taken, no one was there to help the poor girl who was stuck in the middle of a terrible situation. “She should have committed suicide just like him!” (70)  Everyone blamed Valerie because Nick was gone.

Throughout the entire book, Valerie tries to forget the last time she was able to see the love of her life.  “All I could do was stand there and think the Nick I knew didn’t pull the trigger, the bad Nick did.”(20)  As she hid the feelings, you know that she was only introduced to one side of Nick. However, Valerie, like most high school girls, you are mesmerized by the “romantic” (48) or “charming “(48) side to a guy.  Forgetting “the one” (page 5) can be hard, but since “the scumbag” (51) is the new reputation of Nick, forgetting may be in the best interest for Valerie.

During life, you have to make choices that will help you in the long run.  In the beginning of the book, you knew Valerie as the girl who gave up on going to college, having friends, and having the life she loved. Over the course of the book, she recognizes for her to be happy and be able to move on from the past that she needed to do what was best for her. She was finally able to free herself from the past and began opening new opportunities giving herself a second chance on life.